Getting stuck inside a bookshop overnight sounds like a kind of paradise to us bookish peeps. It’s the kind of thing you gleefully daydream about and even seriously consider trying to make happen while browsing the shelves.
But when we heard about this guy who got locked inside Waterstones our brains exploded with all the thoughts. He’d done it. He’d achieved that which should not be possible. He must have been ELATED right? Ha. Yeah. Maybe not. Look at him, the poor lamb…
Have you ever seen someone so sheepishly accepting of his lot? BLESS HIS SOCKS!
And you know, we could have created a whole story around how he got lost in the Natural History section while looking for a particular title on the goblin shark. But instead we thought about all the many beautiful possibilities!
Here’s 12 things every bookworm would 100% do if trapped in a bookshop overnight:
1. Build a fort
Out of fantasy books. Why? Because they have the best castles. Obvs. Why build a fort out of squishy romance when you can create an impenetrable fortress to challenge even Erebor itself! Maybe even fashion a Smaug-like dragon out of copies of ‘The Hobbit’.
2. Reorganise the shelves
Don’t deny it. You would. Despite the fact it would give the booksellers a HEART ATTACK in the morning. And they can’t say anything because “you locked me in, your argument is invalid.” Rainbow shelves are always much more aesthetically pleasing anyway.
3. Make a new wishlist and/or TBR
All those books and a whole night to properly go through each section and create a list of books you NEED to buy and read. And we know there is NOTHING better than a good list.
4. Make a throne
If forts aren’t your thing then how about a throne? You could create it out of that TBR your just made too. Symbiotic bookstore fun.
5. Midnight feast
Because most bookshops have a cafe or coffee shop now, right? Welp, a bookworm has gotta eat haven’t they? So a midnight feast seems hugely appropriate. Cake. All the cake.
Just mind the crumbs on the pages.
6. Venture into worlds unknown
As in, you’re all by yourself. You don’t need to feel shy about exploring different genres or picking up that slightly saucy looking title. Just do it.
7. Play around with the displays
DISPLAY THIS! Create a table with all your favourite authors, or make a Harry Potter themed section. Because why not? You’re carrying out a public service, really.
8. Go a bit crazy in that cool section with the notebooks
Oh you know the one. With the pens and the puzzles and the bookmarks and all those beautiful notebooks. *shudders in pleasure*
Ok, so you might not want to give the game away and upload all the photos right then and there… But just think of all the #bookstagram potential. HEAVEN!
10. Stand behind the counter…
…And act out that dream job of yours. “Why yes, sir. I have read the ‘Illiad’ and I recommend it highly. You’re welcome.”
11. Find a chair and read!
Simple but effective.
12. Explore the mysterious ‘staff only’ areas.
Find the old props and posters and get decorating. And there HAS to be some proof copies around there somewhere. We know. We know.
Well… That’s what WE would do. As for that poor man? Flash us a smile, Oliver:
They got him out. Of course they did! And as for our imagined story about him? We were a little off in suggesting the Natural History sections. He told this news outlet:
“The two things that interest me are the philosophy section and the section on art.” And also admitted that “there are worse places to be trapped than in a Waterstone’s”.
Right on, Mr Soskice, right on.