Let’s get one thing straight, being a fangirl/boy is a calling, not a lifestyle choice. Nothing can beat that serendipitous moment when you fall head over heels for an artist/series/book/other and realise that you won’t stop thinking about it/them for the rest of your life.
This happened to me very recently with the Netflix series ‘13 Reasons Why’. After finishing the last episode, I remember just sitting there in dumb stupefaction thinking about what I had just watched. I haven’t stopped mulling over every detail ever since, rooting around for theories, memes and trawling through discussion panels about the show.
Being a fanboy myself, I wanted to document the way fans’ minds operate, purely in the name of science. Here’s 20 things every fan worth their salt knows all too well.
1. We dedicate all our spare time to our faves
Let’s start with the basics, the definition of being obsessive means that you continuously think about one thing. That thought can filter into your every day life and make it hard to concentrate on anything else.
2. We are social creatures
Fans are social creatures. We love to discuss our obsession with our friends, parents, that kindly granny who sat next to us on the bus with zero prior knowledge about Shawn Mendes but who goes away knowing his entire life story. But what we really seek is our own kind – when you find someone who shares your obsession it’s the best feeling in the world.
3. We go to extremes to identify one another
It’s so crucial for us to find other fangirls that we often find ourselves listening in on other people’s conversations and butting in when they mention our faves.
— PenguinTeen (@PenguinTeen) April 13, 2017
4. But it’s never enough!
However much we discuss our obsession with our friends and family we never get tired of talking about them and, when these sources get tired of our fangirling (and they really, really do!), we have to look elsewhere to satisfy our needs. We dedicate hours to discussing our faves with people from all over the world who share our obsession on forums and discussion threads. Tumblr and Reddit are our natural habitat.
5. We can’t resist clogging the internet with our theories about everything
“We don’t need sleep, we need answers”.
6. Sometimes our theorising even spills over onto YouTube
Like this super detailed ‘Pretty Little Liars’ theory. Very extra, but good.
7. We obsess over little details
When it eventually comes to applying for jobs we can all add ‘detail orientated’ to our resumes. Literally, when it comes to our fave’s we do not miss a trick and fangirls can kick any journo’s ass every single time when it comes to due diligence. Through our powers of stalking we are able to pinpoint our faves’ location at any point and recall tiny details about their lives from years ago.
8. We lurk
The secret to our ace investigative skills is being a super lurker. We often catch ourselves constantly refreshing our fave’s Twitter feed to be the first to react to an update.
9. The best of us even create fanfictions
10. We look for an excuse to make a meme out of anything
Our imaginations are dope AF tbh. We can make anything relatable.
11. In fact, we’re so good at making memes we get disappointed when other people’s meme games aren’t as strong
Me: Gets depressed when none of my friends have tagged me in a meme within the last five minutes.
“NOBODY UNDERSTANDS ME!”
12. We go above and beyond to get noticed by our faves
Including coordinating awe-inspiring fan projects. *Adds ‘highly-developed organisational skills’ to resume*
13. We go on massive voting sprees to support our fave artists
The MP! Top Ten, Maximum Pop’s weekly music chart, is run off fangirl sweat.
14. We spend half our lives taking lyric quizzes
We are morally obliged to ace every single quiz we find and post a screenshot of our results as evidence just to prove we belong in the fandom.
15. We ship everything and everyone. No-one is safe.
What can we say? We just know what the world needs now is love, sweet love.
16. We sometimes find it hard to function in normal society
At times, it can be difficult to separate real life from fiction, especially when other universes are usually so much better.
17. Our natural state is one of not being able to
I CAN’T. In fact, I never really can.
18. We sometimes lie to ourselves
Fangirling is a psychological minefield tbh.
19. We say super extra things like this.
Just an extra note on this one. We don’t say these things because we’re actually insane. We say it because we see our faves as our babies! Take Fifth Harmony or Little Mix for example, we’ve seen them grow up on ‘The X Factor’ and evolve into the beautiful, strong women they are today. Of course we’re going to act like proud rents, DUH!
20. But we do call out our faves when they do something wrong
Everybody makes mistakes. When you sign up to the fan club it’s on the understanding that nobody can be perfect 24/7. Take Justin Bieber for example, he is by no means a saint and has had a controversial career thusfar (posh word there!), but his core fans have stuck by him through thick and thin because they love and respect him for being human.
And that, my friends, is my list of 20 things that define being a fangirl. Got more to add? Just let us know in the comments, fam.
If you loved this post then you should definitely like the Fangirl Issues page on Facebook. For the obsessive only.