So you’ve decided that you’ve had enough of wallowing around in the dreaded friend-zone. You want to make that leap of faith from friendship to bona fide relationship but you’re just a little stuck on the mechanics of such a jump.
Look. If Elektra from ‘Waiting for Callback: Take Two’ can do it, then so can you. Because christ alive she’s awks, and living (fictional) proof that you can 100% escape that friend-zone like a boss.
1. First things first, have you REALLY thought about it?
Sure, you’re feeling all kinds of Sweaty Upper Lip Syndrome over this person, but you need to make damn sure it’s worth the risk. Are they gonna be cool if you make an advance and it turns out they’re not into you? Or will it ruin what you currently have?
That’s the toughest call out of all this. And it will depend on how well you think you know this fitty.
2. Umkay. So we’re doing this. We’re busting you outta that friend-zone.
Small steps first. Talk to a friend. Someone who knows you both. Make sure it’s not someone who will blab your secret feelings (and if they’re gonna do that then they weren’t your friend in the first place) and just ask some simple questions:
Do they ever talk about me when I’m not around? What do they say?
Do you think they’ll totally freak if I asked them out?
What do you think?
Regardless of what they say, remember it’s just one opinion. In the end you have to follow your gut.
3. Test the waters.
Just dip a little toe in there. See if it’s warm or cold. Best to be sure before you take the plunge.
What this means is trying to lead the conversation a bit. Tell them how much they mean to you, or if that’s too much, maybe just tell them how much you enjoy hanging out/talking with them.
If you get one of these kinds of responses…
…then we’re sorry ’bout it. They’re either deflecting or being stupid. Let’s assume they’re the latter for now.
4. Arrange to meet up.
Just the two of you. If they find that weird, invite others as well, or say no… Welp, there’s your answer.
5. If you do end up hanging in a group, just make the most of it.
Have fun with everyone. Laugh, kick back and just be you. Nothing is more attractive than that. Maybe they’ll start to notice what a dolt they are for brushing you off.
6. Timing is everything.
If you’re gonna say something, or try flirting a bit, then just be sure it feels right, for the both of you. The last thing you want to do is rush it, or make them feel uncomfortable.
7. Bite that goddamn bullet.
Girl up. Sometimes there’s nothing for it but to just go for it. Tell them how you feel, but be rational about it. Don’t hand out ultimatums and try to let your head do the talking. Rehearse a little beforehand if you feel that will help.
Just say it how it is, but stress how much you value their friendship too. Be brave!
8. If you are rejected (which might happen, because WHO KNOWS with humans)…
…Take some time to feel that emotion, but don’t dwell on it too long. Don’t try and ask for explanations or for more from that person.
Draw a line under that snake. If they don’t like you for you then what the heck are you wasting your heart eyes on them for anyway? Plenty more baes in the sea, lovelies.
9. Take some inspo from Elektra!
She moons over “that guy” in her acting class (because we’ve all had “that guy” in our lives before). And he’s nice to her, and they text, and they talk… But… Is it more than just being friendly?
She takes steps to try to get herself out of the friendzone, and does it work? You’ll just have to find out for yourselves. ;)
What advice do you have for getting out of the friend-zone? Share it with us!