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These Sorting Hat theories will obliviate everything else from your Potterhead

Not Slytherin, eh?

Something has the muggles in a spin. The latest fan theory to break out and get noticed involves The Sorting Hat. And yes, for sure, it’s a good one.

But because we’re seasoned Potterheads we can go one further. Two further, in fact. Here’s everything you need to know:

The theory that everyone seems to be gagging over at the minute is this:

So, if we follow this logic, it’s more about what values they believe in at that moment in time, rather than the values they actually posses, or will grow into.

It makes sense on some level because that’s why you get students sorted into houses which on the surface don’t really fit.

Like how is Gilderoy Lockhart a Ravenclaw? He valued intelligence and wit. But was actually a dumbass. The award for the worst Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher goes to…

And why wasn’t Neville Longbottom a Hufflepuff? Because he valued bravery and courage above all?

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Find your TRUE Hogwarts house with The Sorting Hat spider

Hmm. It does sort of account for these oddities too:

Credit: Straw_Boats/Reddit

Peter Pettigrew the puny little worm, and Marcus Flint, the slimeball. Ugh. Maybe The Sorting Hat just can’t account for human ass-hattery. Even Dumbledore admitted that they might sort too early.

But then you’d need a communal house before they get sorted at a later age and OMG the house elves have enough on their hands already…

What about this though? Is this more logical?

Well, now. You can’t deny that theory has charm. Or how about this:

Credit: Drazelic/Reddit

Because Dumbledore would never try and influence a child’s fate, would he? Because Dumbledore 100% isn’t a total dick is he? *sarcasm*

What is your theory about the sorting process? Share it with us in the comments!



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Written by Sarah Clare

Sarah is the Lead Writer and Design Queen here at Maximum Pop! Sarah holds an MA in Professional Writing from Falmouth University, and a BA in Creative Writing with English Literature from Marjon (BIG UP THE MARJON MASSIVE!). Sarah joined MP! after seeing an advertisement for writers on Instagram – because where else would a design master find their dream job?

Sarah is currently working on an expose on Draco Malfoy in her spare time. But not if his father hears about it.

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