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14 reasons why Zoella is the absolute worst thing to happen to the internet


You might currently be fearing Trump but there’s a new terror on the loose and we have it on good authority that she is possibly the worst human to step foot on the planet.

DANGER AHEAD! The following might be tough to read but in order to remain safe you must stay alert. Please, do not panic. We repeat: do not panic.

The suspect is currently going by the name of Zoella. Amassing a slave following of over 11 million YouTuber subscribers, she’s set out to brainwash a generation of teen girls with her hypnotising bestselling novels, mind-altering beauty products and one hella cute pug.

A warning has been issued: approach with extreme caution. This girl is dangerous and, if you catch her on a bad day well then….

Here’s 14 reasons why Zoella is public enemy #1:

1. She is constantly negative

Even her fans have picked up on it:

https://twitter.com/longlivezalfie/status/820722740936183808

https://twitter.com/zoeinspiring/status/806222469728190468

 2. She’s not relatable… at all

Sorry.

3. Her and Alfie are not cute whatsoever

Possibly the least adorable couple on YouTube, right?

Oh my Deyes! Zalfie just got real about their sex life and people are not impressed

 

7 times Troye Sivan and Jacob Bixeman were the perfect couple

Did Zalfie just admit they’re getting MARRIED?!

4. She has no idea how to take care of her pets

Look at the pain in poor Nala’s eyes. She’s begging to be rescued.

Happy Sunday! I'm struggling to get out of bed today. NEED ALL THE MOTIVATION

A post shared by Zoella (@zoella) on

5. She’s so serious

This gal needs to liven up a bit.

6. She does nothing to raise mental health awareness

Legit. Not a single thing.

Not one.

7. She doesn’t care about her viewers one bit

And they all hate her for it.

8. She hates Christmas more than anyone

Sorry, what’s Vlogmas?

9. Her selfies are so NOT the most gorgeous things we’ve ever witnessed

Our eyes burn looking at this.

https://twitter.com/Zoella/status/820717738343669764

10. She’s only jumping on the YouTube bandwagon…

Yep, she’s totally not been at this vlogging biz since she was 11 years old.

11. People only watch her because she’s Joe Sugg’s sister

Why else would anyone want to watch her?

12. She lives in the ugliest place imaginable

We hate seeing Brighton in every daily vlog and Insta. UGH. So ugly.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BPhrHDEAFqh/?taken-by=zoella

13. She’s not #friendshipgoals

We wouldn’t want to be best buds with her in a million years, ew.

Christmas, matching onesies & my fave girls. ❤️❤️❤️

A post shared by Zoella (@zoella) on

14. She never does anything nice for other people

Never. Not even once. She’s so selfish.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BIxxBd1h6je/?taken-by=zoella

On a scale of 1-10, how much does Zoella’s new reign of terror make you shake with fear? Leave your thoughts in the comments below.