Okay, we’re going to put this out there and it might shock you. Newt Scamander might be the greatest magizoologist in existence, but nothing (and we mean NOTHING) could convince us to leave our pets alone with him for more than five minutes.
We’ve been squirrelled away in the library for more hours than Hermione, and now we have cold, hard PROOF that Newt Scamander is even more untrustworthy than Hagrid when it comes to dangerous beasts and where not to find them.
We love you, Newt, but we don’t think we’ll be hiring you to pet-sit any time soon.
The latest ‘Fantastic Beasts‘ release might have had us all gushing over Eddie Redmayne’s cute credentials, but even his charming nature isn’t enough for us to look past this complete ineptitude. Oh bless.
Here’s all the proof to show Newt certainly won’t be opening a doggy day care centre anytime soon.
1. He uses his creatures as his own personal delivery service
2. He is hated by ALL animals
3. He might know how to lure an Erumpet into bed but he’s hardly brimming with people skills
You can’t run a business if you’d rather be out back cuddling Nifflers, sorry Newt.
4. This would be a literal reality
5. He’s a confirmed Pokémon hoarder
And we reckon he might abandon our poor puppies for a rare sighting of Pikachu.
6. How much can you trust a man this into puns?
7. Is this contagious?
8. Please refrain from cuddling up with our pet snake, Newt.
Too far Newt, too far. You’re a big boy now, you can sleep in your own bed.
9. Seriously, will our pets fall this in love with him too?
WE are the only ones we want them to give their undivided attention to. Back off, Newt. Get your own pets to love you.
10. Is this cute or is this a little bit too far?
11. Mr. Reptile Reptile does not sound like a credible animal lover
Mr. Reptile Reptile sounds like a devious evil villains name and we’ve just about had enough of all the Cruella Deville’s in the world.
12. 0/10 cannot be trusted
13. The entire plot of ‘Fantastic Beasts’ makes us wary, tbh
Can you really blame us? Next time we head to Prague for a three day knees-up and need someone to pet-sit, we think we’ll stick to Borrowmydoggy, thanks.
On a scale of 1-10, how much trust would you put in Newt to take care of your cat or dog? Let us know in the comments!