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Popstar vs Vegetable: Fifth Harmony vs Cauliflower

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We wanted to test how amazing girlband-of-the-moment Fifth Harmony really are so have pitted them against a staple ingredient of many of our evening meals… the beloved cauliflower. Who will come out on top in this girl-on-veg fight. Feast your eyes below to find out…

Origins
The story of Fifth Harmony begins in 2012 when Camila Cabello, Normani Kordei, Ally Brooke Hernandez, Lauren Jauregui and Dinah-Jane Hansen auditions as solo artists on The X Factor USA. After failing to get through to Judges Houses, Simon Cowell put the girls together as a group named LYLAS (which stands for Love You Like A Sister, FYI), they then changed their name to 1432 (which APPARENTLY stands for ‘I Love You Too’ – we’re not sure how either) before finally being renamed to Fifth Harmony which doesn’t stand for anything.

Cauliflower was originally grown in Asia around the Mediterranean Sea. It has been grown and eaten in Europe since the 1500s but didn’t start growing in the United States until the 1900s. As uninteresting as the origin of cauliflower may seem, it does reveal that the vegetable has a neat 112 years advantage on Fifth Harmony (that’s not even the group’s combined age), so we have to give this one to the veg.

Fifth Harmony – 0, Cauliflower – 1

Style
Fifth Harmony are one of the most stylish girlbands of our time. We love the way the girls dress so much that we’ve recently run ‘Steal Their Style’ features on not one but TWO members of the band. You can read Lauren’s here and Dinah’s here.

We are yet to find a cauliflower that isn’t white and bobbly with a few green leaves at the stalk. Someone call the fashion police…

Fifth Harmony – 1, Cauliflower – 0

Variety
You may think that Fifth Harmony are just an American girlband. Oh no, our extensive research has shown that every member has a different ethnicity. Ally Brooke is Mexican-American, Normani is of African-American, Indian and French decent, Lauren is Spanish-Cuban, Dinah Jane is Tongan, Danish AND Fijian and Camila is Cuban, Mexican. American girlband, pfft.

Whilst Fifth Harmony have ten different ethnicities, we have found that you can also purchase orange and purple cauliflowers. That’s weird and we don’t like it. FIFTH HARMONY WIN.

Fifth Harmony – 1, Cauliflower – 0

UK Availability
Fifth Harmony have only visited the UK once and totally snubbed us when they released their debut EP ‘Better Together’ last year. However, they have recently released their massive tune ‘BO$$’ in the UK, and bagged themselves a #21 hit with it after one epic X Factor performance.

Cauliflower is EVERYWHERE. You can find this vegetable in every supermarket, grocery store and market stall in the country.

Fifth Harmony – 0, Cauliflower – 1

Special Deals
As we mentioned before, the girls released ‘BO$$’ in the UK earlier this month but Harmonizers got a lovely surprise when they purchased the track for 99p on iTunes. It only came with the amazeballs ‘Sledgehammer’ for free didn’t it? TWO TRACKS FOR 99P – AMAZING.

With Christmas coming up, a lot of supermarkets are going head to head and offering some really cheap veg. The cheapest cauliflower we found was 49p, but that only lasts two days. Fifth Harmony’s two songs will last forever.

Fifth Harmony – 1, Cauliflower – 0

Inclusion in Christmas Dinner
Unfortunately you can’t eat Fifth Harmony’s music (we’re sure it’d taste amazing if we could), BUT the girls have recorded a cover of Mariah Carey’s classic ‘All I Want For Christmas Is You’ which you can play on repeat whilst eating to make your dinner just a tad more festive.

You can’t beat a few cauliflower florets cover in a creamy cheese sauce next to your Turkey, can you? Especially if it’s only 49p! We’re calling a draw on this one.

Fifth Harmony – 1, Cauliflower – 1

Celebrity Fans
Simon Cowell is their manager, Demi Lovato takes them on tour and Cheryl Fernandez-Versini wants to be their sixth member. Oh and MICHELLE O-FREAKING-BAMA WORKS OUT TO BO$$.

We are sure a lot of celebrities the world over enjoy a good bit of cauliflower but we have no evidence to prove this. And without evidence, no point can be awarded.

Fifth Harmony – 1, Cauliflower – 0

Verdict
It wasn’t look good for those lovely 5H ladies at the start bur they turned it around in the world. Congratulations Fifth Harmony, you are officially better than cauliflower.

Fifth Harmony – 5, Cauliflower – 3

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Written by Oliver Meakings

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