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Brad Simpson vs Broccoli


Yes, boys and squirrels, back by popular demand it’s
 Popstar vs A Vegetable! This is where we take a random garden variety vegetable and pitch it against your average popstar to decide who is better for your health: A popstar or a vegetable. Seems simple enough, right?

This week: Brad Simpson from The Vamps vs Broccoli


broccoli brad

History

Broccoli is a member of the cabbage family, and is closely related to cauliflower. This is already a black mark in our book. However it does have its roots in Italy and its original name is Broccolo, meaning ‘cabbage sprout’. Ooh, exotic


Brad comes from Sutton Coldfield in the West Midlands and started out on YouTube uploading covers and original songs before he was discovered and plonked into The Vamps. Still though, Italy trumps West Midlands.

Brad – 0, Broccoli – 1

How to select and store

Choose broccoli with floret clusters that are compact and not bruised. They should be uniformly colored, either dark green, sage or purple-green, depending upon variety, and with no yellowing.

Brad comes fully formed as is and is at no risk of becoming yellow. Unless he becomes a Simpsons character of course.

Brad – 1, Broccoli – 0

How to enjoy

Broccoli:

  • Toss pasta with olive oil, pine nuts and steamed broccoli florets. Add salt and pepper to taste.
  • PurĂ©e cooked broccoli and cauliflower, then combine with seasonings of your choice to make a simple, yet delicious, soup.
  • Add broccoli florets and chopped stalks to omelets.

Brad:

Simply glance in the direction of the various Brad posters on your bedroom wall and gaze lovingly for desired amount of time until satisfied. Alternatively, retrieve iPod and select The Vamps for your listening pleasure. Easy peasy.

Brad – 1, Broccoli – 0

Health Warnings

Broccoli is sometimes referred to as a “goitrogenic” food, which means it can effect your thyroid function. It’s too difficult to explain here but this piece of information basically confirms our worst fears all along: Broccoli is evil.

Brad on the other helps to release serotonin – the ‘happy’ hormone – in the body every time we dance like loons on loon tablets to ‘Can We Dance’, so I think we can agree it’s pretty much a no brainer on this one.

Brad – 1, Broccoli – 0

Chart placements of note

Brad and the rest of The Vamps have just scored their first US Top 10 album on the Billboard charts with the ‘Somebody To You’ EP. Hurrah! However, don’t discount broccoli just yet, as it is experiencing a rise in popularity (!) along with various other fruits and veg across the atlantic. Who’ve thunk?

Brad – 1, Broccoli – 1

Greatest Hits

Brad features on the popular hits ‘Can We Dance’, Wild Heart’ and ‘Last Night’ as part of The Vamps. Popular broccoli dishes include chicken with steamed broccoli and, er, not much else really
 Looks like Brad snatches this round.

Brad – 1, Broccoli – 0

FINAL SCORE: Brad – 5 , Broccoli – 2

We tried, Broccoli, but you’re just too damn high maintenance really. Ultimately Brad is ready to go at any time and with our busy schedules, we just can’t afford to be faffing around with your fancy foret clusters and whatnot. Soz.