We ask you to please remain calm while we issue the following public warning.
We have received intelligence that a 16 year old caucasian female has been identified as a potential threat to national security.
We repeat, please do not panic.
The suspect in question goes by the name Baby Ariel. She is accused of hijacking popular social media platform, Musical.ly, and using it to brainwash 16 million Musers all over the globe. We strongly suspect that she is building a secret army to take down our beloved president elect Donald Trump whom we all greatly admire and respect.
She is to be treated with extreme caution. This girl is dangerous.
Here is why Baby Ariel is public enemy No.1:
1. She only promotes negativity
Dude, lighten up.
2. Her priorities are just all so wrong!
Doesn’t she know that the more you moan, the happier you get?
3. She’s not relatable at all
Food is so 2016…
when i'm on my period i think about food 24/7
— Baby Ariel (@BabyAriel) January 6, 2017
one of my favorite things is when my shirt is long enough for me to unbutton my pants after i eat
— Baby Ariel (@BabyAriel) December 11, 2016
dancing freely in my room while i'm home alone & blasting music just makes me happy
— Baby Ariel (@BabyAriel) January 4, 2017
4. She just doesn’t appreciate her fans one bit
you all are so beautiful .
— Baby Ariel (@BabyAriel) January 7, 2017
5. She takes herself way too seriously
Have fun once in a while, won’t you?
6. Her Gram game is offensively beautiful
We actually have to wear sunglasses to survive the lack of shadiness.
7. She has awful taste in music.
And Halsey’s ‘Colours’ so isn’t one of the best songs in recent memory.
ripped at every edge but you’re a masterpiece🌙
— Baby Ariel (@BabyAriel) 8 January 2017
8. Her Musical.ly game is weak AF
Yeah, we said it.
9. She doesn’t value family at all
10. She’s a vandal
And it’s a scandal!
11. Awful fashion sense
We will not take it easy thank you very much!
12. She never goes anywhere interesting or meets anyone famous
13. She never plays any fun games
14. She’s obsessed with Snapchat
Snapchat’s just never going to take off, OK?
On a scale from 1-10 how much does Baby Ariel make you quiver with fear? Let us know using the comments box below.