Caught Zara Larsson‘s performance on The Ellen Show last week? Well, maybe you should have. For your own well-being!
All-round fabulous Swedish pop star Zara Larsson is, of course, currently best known for wearing a condom on her leg. (She’s also had a hit or two with the likes of ‘Girls Like’, ‘Never Forget You’ and ‘Lush Life’).
Following Zaza’s spectacular performance of current US single ‘Never Forget You’ with MNEK, scientists at MP! have been carefully working to decipher some of the hidden meanings behind her dance moves and we believe that we have finally cracked the code. Best pay attention to this one, for your own sake.
So, as we all know Lady Larsson is directly in line to ascend to the throne of Planet Pop which is all well and good, but we believe that she was dropping a few clues to what her rule will be like in her performance on Ellen… and it’s not pretty:
1) Her subtle movement here indicates that we will be forced to bow down in a “Beyonce bow down bitches” type way.
2) Zaza will rule with an iron fist. Insolent underlings will be beaten down. Get back in line!
3) We will all descend into madness with obligatory pogoing. She wasn’t kidding when she said “Imma dance my heart out ’til the dawn” in ‘Lush Life.’
4) Here she declares that she is the Queen of Hearts and will steal yours and store it in a musty old bell jar.
5) Here we can pinpoint victim number one. “I like your face. You will go first”.
6) Here she indicates that the national food of Planet Pop will be Swiss rolls.
7) Calm down fools. Resistance is futile. Just don’t even bother mate.
This is all we’ve managed to get from this performance but you should check out the whole thing to see if you can spot any other signs:
One thing is certain, the anarchy of a post-apocalyptic Zara Larsson-led society is almost upon us. Take heed of our words. There is no mercy in those blue eyes.
WE SURRENDER LADY ZARA!
Oh dear! In the words of Zaza herself “Now I might have went and said too much.” She’s coming for MP! with her enchanted doughnut. NEVER FORGET US!
Tweet us at @MaximumPop to let us know your thoughts on the Zazapocalypse.