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Union J Vs. Peppers


Whilst chewing on sticks of pepper for lunch today, we were getting very excited about Union J’s upcoming book – inventively named ‘Our Story’ – so we thought, it’s time to bring back… POP STAR VS A VEGETABLE… TA-DAH!

Variety

There are four members of Union J and also four different variations of peppers available. If we had to designate a different pepper colour to each member of Union J, we’d probably say…

Jaymi is the green pepper because green peppers are the strongest in flavour and Jaymi has a very strong voice. George is the yellow pepper as they are very sweet in flavour and we all know George is very sweet, the sweetest member of Union J. Possibly even the sweetest popstar of all time. Yes, ever sweeter than Baby Spice. Josh is the red pepper because red peppers are the hottest in flavour and let’s face it, Josh is the hottest member of Union J. JJ is the orange pepper because he looks good in whatever he wears… even an orange polo neck.

But Union J are better, sorry peppers!

Union J 1, Peppers 0

Fans

Union J currently have 1,132,432 followers on their official Twitter account and when you add the followers of their separate accounts together, you get the total of 285,261. Bringing their total number of followers to 1,417,693.

We searched “peppers” and “peppers appreciation society” on Facebook but only found groups for Dr Pepper and a dog, and none of those count.

Union J 1, Peppers 0

Flavour

We have tweeted each individual member of Union J to ask them what they taste like and they did not reply. We are yet to taste Union J so we don’t currently have any idea what they taste like.

There are lots of different flavours to peppers and they taste very nice in a salad or a stir fry. Sorry Union J, maybe we’ll lick you if we interview you sometime.

Union J 0, Peppers 1

Sales

Union J were formed during last year’s The X Factor and have only released one single and although their debut album has not been released, they have sold out their very own theatre tour for later on this year.

Apparently peppers were discovered in 1532 and they’re on sale in basically every supermarket in the world and millions are (probably) sold each day. Although ‘Carry You’ made it to number 6 in the charts, it’s not enough for Union J to win this battle.

Union J 0, Peppers 1

Love Life

JJ has a lovely girlfriend and Jaymi has a lovely boyfriend. Josh is single and George has been rumoured to be dating Selena Gomez recently, although this has been denied by his fellow bandmates.

We’re not too sure if peppers can have relationships with each other, if they could that’d be pretty cool, but it’s the Selena rumour that’s done it for us here guys!

Union J 1,Peppers 0

Popularity With Louis Walsh

Louis Walsh very obviously likes Union J as he mentored them during last year’s X Factor and even took to the trouble of learning their names.

We’ve asked Jeeves and even the Twittersphere but nobody knows if Louis Walsh also enjoys peppers. But he does like Jedward, so he probably will like peppers.

Union J 1, Peppers 1

Plastic Re-Makes

Union J are currently in talks with Mattel  to launch their own range of dolls and other merchandise such as jigsaw puzzles and board games to be launched in 2014.

However, plastic peppers have been made Christmas presents for kids as part of a re-make mini supermarket for years, so unfortunately for Union J, peppers have a lot more experience in this field.

Union J 0, Peppers 1

Not to be confused with…

Union J are compared to mega-boyband One Direction because a) They came from The X Factor and b) They both have a floppy haired singer, some people who aren’t too hot on pop could find this rather confusing.

The colourful vegetables that we are discussing today could be confused with the seasoning ground pepper. Ground pepper can ruin food if too much is used and makes us sneeze a lot. No thanks.

Union J 1, Peppers 0

Final Score – Union J 5, Peppers 4

Ooh, it was a close one but Union J have just pipped Peppers to the post and have become more successful in the Popstar Vs A Vegetable battle. Well done boys, we’ll send you a pack of Waitrose’s best pepper mix for you to demolish at your own will!

 

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Written by Oliver Meakings

No dull pop stars allowed.

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