POP BITS. This weekend, anyone who loves pop as much as we do will have been sat at home glued to the X Factor final. What else could you possibly want from your Saturday night apart from Wagner playing the bongos, Jedward thrusting their crotches at a stunned Gary Barlow and Nicole Scherzinger adding a ‘sch’ to every schword she schays? Sorry, couldn’t resist.
Yep, all of the above and more happened in an explosive finale to this year’s X Factor, which saw some of the most, erm, memorable contestants from the past few series reunite to perform a weird-tastic medley and the finalists themselves perform alongside some impressive props, including a hot air balloon and half a bus. We’re not sure if there was only half a bus because they wanted it like that, or because the budget was running a bit low and they couldn’t afford the rest of it. Either way, they popped the adorable ‘Scottish Lamb’ Nicholas (Nicole’s words) inside the balloon and Luke ‘Kimberley Walsh’ Friend on top of the bus to belt their little hearts out.
Sam Bailey seemed to miss out on the fun things to sit on on stage, but she made up for it with a schamazing duet of ‘And I Am Telling You I’m Not Going’ with Nicole, which would have been perfect had it not been for those pesky Jedward boys testing their mics during the performance, resulting in a weird muttering over the song.
Poor old Luke left the show on Saturday, leaving Sam and Nick to battle it out on Sunday’s final instalment, which featured guest performances from Katy Perry (not so great) and One Direction (really bloomin’ great). Louis was STILL trying to grow that beard, and while we prefer him without the face fur, he and the boys still looked lush. Harry went for a Rolling Stones-inspired look with his now-trademark headband and new earring. Yes, EARRING. When he appeared with the dangly little fella in his ear, we all momentarily forgot why we were watching the show and wondered why he was taking jewellery inspiration from Elton John.
After singing their winners’ singles (‘Superman’ for Nicky, ‘Skyscraper’ for Sam), Elton John and Gary Barlow did a duet to help us pass the time before the winner was announced. An hour-long drum-roll later, Dermot told us it was Sam. Sharon Osborne collapsed in a heap, everyone cried and basically, that was that.
Despite just winning the show, it seemed that Sam wasn’t all smiles – she told the Daily Star on Monday that it annoys her how the show ‘favours sob stories over talent’ and that she knows plenty of pub singers who could ‘**** all over the other contestants’. Oo-er, Sam! Don’t go all diva on us already! POP BITS OUT.
Check out our gallery of the finale’s best bits below.