MP!’s Gran reviews Christopher Maloney’s ‘My Heart Belongs To You’

We took her out of retirement (the retirement home, to be exact) for another stint on MP! Our gran is back. When we informed her she was reviewing Christopher Maloney’s new single, she couldn’t have been happier even if Cilla Black announced a comeback tour.

I do love a bit of Christopher Maloney, although I was a bit peeved when my phone bill came through in January after voting for him several hundred times on The X Factor. It wasn’t because I wanted him to win (I was rooting for that young handsome man… em… Louis Walsh), but I always bump into his nan down the Bingo halls on Tuesdays and she made us all promise to vote every weekend.

Anyway, I imagine this song would be quite popular in those discotheques that the youths of today enjoy going to. He’s quite a dashing fellow, isn’t he? When he sang the lines “My heart belongs to you” and stares into the camera, I think I could feel one of my withered ovaries swell.

The video is quite nice too but it’s a sensitive topic in the home. As it’s shot on a beach, it reminds us of our day trip to Brighton where Mildred wandered off and we haven’t found her since. Perhaps Chris spotted her, I must give his nan a call and see.

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Written by Maximum Pop!

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