The Brit Awards 2013 contains far too many dull popstars, and far too many dull categories, so we at MP! have decided to create our own awards. Rather than rewarding dullness, we’re rewarding the things that really matter – brilliant hair, dedication to hats and omnipresent nipples. We’re ready and set to announce our winners alongside the Brit Awards.
BEST BREAKTHROUGH NIPPLE – HARRY STYLES’ THIRD NIPPLE – Well done Third Nipple. You always had this in the bag. You thrashed the other nipples taking 66% of the vote. We hear the nipple is already playing an all-nighter at the Ivy – whether Harry likes it or not!
FITTEST GROUP THAT AREN’T 1D – DISTRICT 3 – This was our most hotly contested category. Over 2000 votes in this category. First it looked like Little Mix would walk it, then Union J took the lead. But soon it was a two-horse race between District 3 and the Wanted. District 3 won with 720 votes to the Wanted’s 646. Well done boys & well done 3eeks!
BEST BRITISH HAIR – ZAYN MALIK – We’ll be honest, we love Zayn, we love Zayn’s hair. We’re happy this happened. After a brief lead by Max George, Zayn destroyed the competition and taking 639 votes. The way that he slicks his hair leaves us overwhelmed.
BEST INTERNATIONAL HAIR – JEDWARD – It was always going to be Jedward. Firstly, their hair is iconic. Secondly, no-one takes on Planet Jedward.
BEST SINGLE – NIALL HORAN – Cheeky little Niall has been breaking hearts the world over this year (including that of Selena Gomez) . Winning 45% of your vote, Niall beat his fellow 1D member Harry Styles into second.
BEST HAT IN POP – MISHA B – And what a hat! The hat itself was double nominated and battle commenced between Misha B and Little Mix’s Jesy who both wore the hat. It was close, but Misha B ended up winning with 38% of the vote. Conor Maynard only got 5.6% of the vote. Perhaps switch to scarfs next year Conor?
SPECIAL AWARD – GLOBAL SUCCESS IN HATS – OLLY MURS – Because so many of you were (quite rightly) mad at us missing Olly in the ‘Best Hat in Pop’ category. No-one wears them quite like Olly…
A huge thank you to everyone that voted! We had nearly 7000 votes across all the categories.