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Matt Cardle Vs A Carrot

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Welcome to Pop Star Vs A Vegetable. This highly scientific experiment is tasked with finding out what’s better – greens, or Professor Greens? This week, X Factor winner Matt Cardle goes up against the humble carrot. Here’s the results…

Taste

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A carrot has a satisfying crunch when you bite into it

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We imagine Matt would squeal like a girl if we bit him

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Matt – 0  Carrot – 1

Headwear

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A carrot has a fashionable green do

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Matt wears non-fashionable hats ALL THE TIME

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Matt – 0  Carrot – 1

Violence

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Matt chopped up carrots when he cooked with his mum on Daybreak last year

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The carrot was callously murdered by Matt Cardle

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Matt – 1  Carrot – 0

Health benefits

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Carrots help you see in the dark

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Matt sometimes makes us wish we were more short-sighted

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Matt – 0  Carrot – 1

Meal preparation

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You can boil, roast, sauté, blend, juice and microwave a carrot

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You can’t do any of this with Matt Cardle

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Matt – 0  Carrot – 1

General public

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Matt won X Factor in 2010

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The carrot was voted Britain’s Best-loved vegetable in 2008

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Matt – 1  Carrot – 0

Reinvention

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This particular carrot looks like Buzz Lightyear

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Matt Cardle always looks like Matt Cardle

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Matt – 0  Carrot – 10

Dreams and aspirations

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Matt has had various jobs including a bricklayer, milkman, decorator and popstar

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The carrot has never lacked direction in its life – it’s always wanted to be a delicious vegetable

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Matt – 0  Carrot – 1

Record books

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The carrot has a song dedicated to it

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Matt Cardle doesn’t

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Matt – 0  Carrot – 1

Total:  Matt – 2  Carrot – 16

You heard it here first: A carrot is officially better than Matt Cardle! Check back next week to find out which pop star will be going head to head with a vegetable.

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Written by Oliver Meakings

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