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Leona Lewis vs a Leek


Welcome again to everyone’s favourite pop-based vegetable battle royale – it’s Popstar Versus A Vegetable. This highly scientific experiment tasks itself with finding out the important answers to pop’s big questions. So who will emerge victorious today? Our competitors: in the red corner, X Factor champion and superb ballad-warbler Leona Lewis. In the blue corner, the humble leek. Fight!!

LOVE LIFE

Leona dated boyfriend and childhood mate Lou Al-Chamaa for several years before they split two years ago.

The leek hasn’t dated anyone. *sadface*

Leona 1, Leek 0

MARKETING

Leona’s done pretty well in the marketing stakes – she’s sold millions of albums worldwide, sold out arenas and is a pretty recognisable household name on both sides of the pond.

The leek, while not exactly the sparkliest vegetable in the world, has been around for centuries and even featured in a Shakespeare play or two. That’s longevity, folks. Plus you can’t put Leona in a soup. We’ve tried. It was messy.

Leona 1, Leek 1

LOCATION

Leona hails from Hackney, London. She returned home earlier this year to open the Radio 1 Big Weekend so we can assume she’s a cosmopolitan sort of girl.

The leek is pretty much a global “thing” – dried up leeks have been found in Egypt and even the Roman emperors enjoyed them. A globe-trotting veg, for sure.

Leona 0, Leek 1

CONTROVERSY

Leona has… erm… got a tattoo? There was that time she wore that kind of edgy, skimpy outfit. But no, she’s pretty much the de facto vanilla popstar – zero controversy to be found.

No controversy with the leek, either. Trust us on that one.

Leona 0, Leek 0

MORALS

Leona’s an ethical popstar – she famously turned an obscene amount of money to open Harrods because they sell real fur. She’s also been a commited vegetarian since she was 12. Kudos, Ms Lewis.

The leeks has no morals. Then again, it has no shame either. Like Frankie Cocozza on a night out.  Or Frankie Cocozza full stop, actually.

Leona 1, Leek 0

TALENT

Leona’s talented, alright – she can blast out a ballad as well as any of her contemporaries (young and old) and even her club songs are pretty solid too. Some questionable fashion choices aside, she’s a good popstar and despite the teasing, we always love to listen to her.

The leek is a fairly adaptable vegetable, as comfortable in a salad as it is in a stew or a soup. We suppose that sort of versatility is helpful when it comes to Big Band Week. Apart from that, nada.

Leona 1, Leek 0

POPULARITY

Leona’s sold lots of albums and despite her relative blandness compared to the Gagas and the Rihannas of the pop world, she is accessible and popular in her own right.

The leek is fairly popular but it’s not exactly something you’d dip into a bit of Reggae Reggae sauce at a dinner party.

Leona 1, Leek 1

TOTAL: LEONA 5, LEEK 3

So Leona storms to victory with a 5-3 victory over the humble leek, clearly proving once and for all that X Factor winners are better than root vegetables (apart from Matt Cardle, perhaps – but that’s for another day). Check back soon to see which vegetable will be going head to head with a popstar!

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Written by Maximum Pop!

No dull pop stars allowed.

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