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Dr Agombar Will See You Now…


Jessica Parade takes time out from recording her second album with the likes of Tim Powell, MNEK and Futurecut to answer your personal life dilemmas. From big boobs to first kisses, Doctor Agombar will see you now.

Hi Doctor Agombar. I’m going camping for the first time next week, but I’m going to be on my period whilst we’re away. Is it true that wolves out in the wilderness can sense when you’re on your period and that they try to take you away to breed with you? Thanks! Hillary, 14
Cor Blimey I’ve never heard of that! That is defo a myth babes. I tell ya what, pack some tampons and a hot water bottle and you will be sweet. Also if the wolf looks anything like Jacob from Twilight then there’s nothing to be worried about!

Hello Dr Agombar. I’ve got a new job as a singer in a girl band called Stooshe and I’m now required to swear at least 54 times a day. Is this dangerous and could it lead to Tourette’s in the future? Courtney, 18
Courtney as long as ya ain’t swearing in front of kids there ain’t a problem! Ya gotta luv the F word! I don’t think this is dangerous and it won’t lead to Tourette’s but ya could make a swear jar and each time put some money in and by the sounds of it the amount you swear you will be racking it in in no time.

Dr Jess I need help! Is my best friend gay? She keeps talking about how she might get a tattoo and how inspirational she thinks Jessie J is. She calls herself a Heartbeat. I don’t mind if she is a lesbian but I think I have a right to know! Sarah, 15
Oh Sarah, Sarah, Sarah! I love me a bit of Jessie J too, she is inspirational but that don’t make me gay! Why don’t ya ask ya pal outright “are ya gay”? It ain’t nothing to be afraid of, it shouldn’t be a taboo subject. Live and let live, who gives a damn about sexuality anyway its 2012 baby!

Helo JeS mi name is FRANK iuused 2 b in a gurl band cald PARADE but mi spellin is reali bad so they kiked me outof the band and I criedd for ages pleas pleas pleas what can I do to get better is there any medicins or tablets I can have to change my brain so I can write lyk a normal pumkin? thank you muchly frank, 11
P*ss off Frank, or will we get the restraining order put back on!

Dear Dr Jess. I’ve never kissed anyone before and I’m scared cos I don’t know how to do it? I asked my parents but they didn’t go into enough detail. Please can you give me a guide on exactly what I have to do? Like, where to put my tongue? Thank you, Liam, 16
Hi Liam first kisses are always a disaster so as long as you expect it to be awful then anything better is a plus! Just make sure ya breath is fresh cos you don’t want the person to vom! And don’t use too much tongue/saliva action – nobody wants a sloppy smoocher!

Hey Dr – my friend told me that boys only like big boobs, and that you can pretend to have bigger ones by putting raw chicken down your bra. But I was kissing a boy and he put his hand in and felt all the cold, slimy chicken and then threw up on me! What excuse should I give for having them in my bra? Raven, 13
Raven, I’ve been partial to sticking socks/tissue down me bra at your age but chicken?! What the hell was ya thinking?! I think you got confused with plastic chicken fillets, which are bust boosting. Maybe say you didn’t have a carrier bag so stuffed em down there as a way to hold on to em? I wouldn’t eat them after this incident either babe!

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