2017 is turning out to be quite the horror story, isn’t it? Aside from the fact we have a giant dumb-ass Cheeto as President (we’re talking about you, Trump hun), it turns out we’re not getting the Cursed Child in movie form, either. GREAT.
Nope, us neither Pezza.
However, some Cursed Child news has just dropped which is making us feel that teensy-weensy little bit better in our bitter movie-less state, and we’re dying to share it with you.
Are you ready? Of course you are.
THE WHOLE OF THE CURSED CHILD IS ALL ONE BIG FAT LIE.
Yep – you heard that right. TCC is all just one massive impossible series of events, and it’s even been proven by JK herself.
Here’s the lowdown.
In one of the ‘Pottermore Presents’ books, ‘Hogwarts: An Incomplete and Unreliable Guide’, JK discusses the laws of time travel, and all of the Ts & Cs which come with it (because you can’t just go time travelling round willy nilly a la Doctor Who, you know).
Anyway, using the research of Professor Saul Croaker – a clever chap who “has spent his entire career in the Department of Mysteries studying time-magic” – JK confirms that going back in time any further than a few hours will result in “catastrophic harm” to the witch or wizard involved (that means death to mere muggles like you and I, btw).
So you know when Albus uses a Time Turner to turn back time and stop Cedric Diggory from dying? Yeah, that’d basically kill him. Not to mention the point when the Time Turner is used to go to the day Harry’s parents died and to stop Voldemort’s daughter’s evil plan – that should’ve had some pretty dire consequences, too.
Well, that’s that plot line ruined…OR IS IT? We are, after all, taking all of this info from the “Incomplete and Unreliable Guide”, so maybe JK’s pulling our leg. She is clever like that, and she does like to keep us guessing.
What do you reckon? Do you think a giant plot hole has just been uncovered, or has JK done it on purpose? We’re willing to suggest the latter, but only time will tell!