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SADFACE OMFG ANGRY LOL WTF

J.K. Rowling just shattered ALL of our Cursed Child dreams in one fell swoop

*SPOILER ALERT*

2017 is turning out to be quite the horror story, isn’t it? Aside from the fact we have a giant dumb-ass Cheeto as President (we’re talking about you, Trump hun), it turns out we’re not getting the Cursed Child in movie form, either. GREAT.

Nope, us neither Pezza.

However, some Cursed Child news has just dropped which is making us feel that teensy-weensy little bit better in our bitter movie-less state, and we’re dying to share it with you.

Are you ready? Of course you are. 

THE WHOLE OF THE CURSED CHILD IS ALL ONE BIG FAT LIE.

Yep – you heard that right. TCC is all just one massive impossible series of events, and it’s even been proven by JK herself.

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Here’s the lowdown.

In one of the ‘Pottermore Presents’ books, ‘Hogwarts: An Incomplete and Unreliable Guide’, JK discusses the laws of time travel, and all of the Ts & Cs which come with it (because you can’t just go time travelling round willy nilly a la Doctor Who, you know).

Anyway, using the research of Professor Saul Croaker –  a clever chap who “has spent his entire career in the Department of Mysteries studying time-magic” – JK confirms that going back in time any further than a few hours will result in “catastrophic harm” to the witch or wizard involved (that means death to mere muggles like you and I, btw).

HOGWARTS: AN INCOMPLETE AND UNRELIABLE GUIDE

So you know when Albus uses a Time Turner to turn back time and stop Cedric Diggory from dying? Yeah, that’d basically kill him. Not to mention the point when the Time Turner is used to go to the day Harry’s parents died and to stop Voldemort’s daughter’s evil plan – that should’ve had some pretty dire consequences, too.

Well, that’s that plot line ruined…OR IS IT? We are, after all, taking all of this info from the “Incomplete and Unreliable Guide”, so maybe JK’s pulling our leg. She is clever like that, and she does like to keep us guessing.

What do you reckon? Do you think a giant plot hole has just been uncovered, or has JK done it on purpose? We’re willing to suggest the latter, but only time will tell!

What do you think?

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Written by Rachel Ellen Pugh

Profile photo of Rachel Ellen Pugh

Rachel is the publisher at Maximum Pop! Having graduated from The University of Manchester with a BA in English Literature, Drama & Film, Rachel started her media career working in several different start-ups and newsrooms.

Rachel joined MP! after seeing the opportunity to build the site's social channels, and now likes to shout about them wherever possible.

When she's not managing all things MP!, Rachel can be found chasing strangers' dogs for attention, annoying the rest of the team with Ru Paul GIFs, and attempting to become the Mary Berry she knows she is. And failing.