Sometimes life is full of difficult decisions. In fact, it’s constantly throwing questions at you on the daily that you’re forced to answer now, now now. Well, I had enough of it. I wanted a day where the responsibility was literally taken out of my hands. Enter the magic conch.
If you’re unfamiliar with how this works, here’s what I was putting my life into the hands of. A seashell with a pull-cord and a random recorded answer.
That’s it. I asked a question like “what should I do now? Get out of bed?” and ask the magic conch (which, I should point out isn’t a real conch shell, unfortunately. I downloaded the app) and… tada!
And the lovely thing about this beauty is that it’s nothing if not optimistic…
So let me set the scene. I’m in London, staying at a hotel, waking up on the first day of London’s Film and Comic Con. And here’s how my day shaped up:
0740 – Should I wash my hair this morning?
0741 – Should I BRUSH my hair this morning?
…at this point I was starting to wonder whether I should actually bother going anywhere. But it wasn’t my decision, was it?
0855 – Shall I get off at this tube station?
0855 – Srsly. This is my stop. I need to get off.
0856 – *doors beeping* DUDE?!
…too late, the doors were shut. I had to get off at the next stop and decide whether to double back or walk… The magic conch was not a fan of walking. So I switched platforms and went back.
0920 – Should I skip the queue? (because even the queue for #YALC ticket holders was quite lengthy)
Did I manage to skip it? Sort of. I slotted in near the doors. Felt terrible about it the whole time. Ignored hateful glares. Cursed the conch. Got in.
Here’s a potted history of just SOME of things I ended up doing thanks to the conch:
1. Entering the author green room area without a pass.
2. Not eating lunch.
3. Missing 2 panels I wanted to watch.
4. Sitting inside the ‘Mutt’s Cuts’ van for WAY longer than was acceptable. I timed it. It was nearly ten minutes and people were waiting.
5. Tapping a guy dressed as The Joker on the bum.
6. Patting a guy dressed as Hellboy on the horn stump.
7. Poking myself in the eye (at this point it was becoming almost too impulsive).
8. Walking into a room first (this never happens. It was an after-YALC event… I was terrified).
9. Drinking cider.
10. Drinking more cider.
11. Talking to an author I HUGELY admire. But only in questions.
At this point I was starting to get stupid. And I could feel it. After failing to find enough beer mats to build a pyramid (in fact, I couldn’t find ANY beer mats), and also after saying something weird to a friend that I can’t take back…
…I decided to ask it one last question and call it quits.
13. 20:40 – I’m done with you, you know that?
Nope. Enough was enough. I AM MY OWN PERSON!
I made the executive decision all on my own to get a burger from ‘Five Guys’ on the way back to the hotel, as well as to crawl into bed early. It was a golden moment.
Using the magic conch to make ALL of my decisions was fun. It was also wildly exhausting and stressful at times too. This is not a way of life I would recommend, but I found that by being more open to contrary decisions to what I would normally make I had one heck of an experience.