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I tried making all my decisions using a magic conch for one whole day and this is what happened


Sometimes life is full of difficult decisions. In fact, it’s constantly throwing questions at you on the daily that you’re forced to answer now, now now. Well, I had enough of it. I wanted a day where the responsibility was literally taken out of my hands. Enter the magic conch.

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If you’re unfamiliar with how this works, here’s what I was putting my life into the hands of. A seashell with a pull-cord and a random recorded answer.

That’s it. I asked a question like “what should I do now? Get out of bed?” and ask the magic conch (which, I should point out isn’t a real conch shell, unfortunately. I downloaded the app) and… tada!

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And the lovely thing about this beauty is that it’s nothing if not optimistic…

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Yep…

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So let me set the scene. I’m in London, staying at a hotel, waking up on the first day of London’s Film and Comic Con. And here’s how my day shaped up:

0740 – Should I wash my hair this morning?

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0741 – Should I BRUSH my hair this morning?

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…at this point I was starting to wonder whether I should actually bother going anywhere. But it wasn’t my decision, was it?

0855 – Shall I get off at this tube station?

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0855 – Srsly. This is my stop. I need to get off.

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0856 – *doors beeping* DUDE?!

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…too late, the doors were shut. I had to get off at the next stop and decide whether to double back or walk… The magic conch was not a fan of walking. So I switched platforms and went back.

0920 – Should I skip the queue? (because even the queue for #YALC ticket holders was quite lengthy)

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Did I manage to skip it? Sort of. I slotted in near the doors. Felt terrible about it the whole time. Ignored hateful glares. Cursed the conch. Got in.

Here’s a potted history of just SOME of things I ended up doing thanks to the conch:

1. Entering the author green room area without a pass.
2. Not eating lunch.

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3. Missing 2 panels I wanted to watch.
4. Sitting inside the ‘Mutt’s Cuts’ van for WAY longer than was acceptable. I timed it. It was nearly ten minutes and people were waiting.
5. Tapping a guy dressed as The Joker on the bum.
6. Patting a guy dressed as Hellboy on the horn stump.

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7. Poking myself in the eye (at this point it was becoming almost too impulsive).
8. Walking into a room first (this never happens. It was an after-YALC event… I was terrified).
9. Drinking cider.
10. Drinking more cider.
11. Talking to an author I HUGELY admire. But only in questions.

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12. Prosecco.

At this point I was starting to get stupid. And I could feel it. After failing to find enough beer mats to build a pyramid (in fact, I couldn’t find ANY beer mats), and also after saying something weird to a friend that I can’t take back…

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…I decided to ask it one last question and call it quits.

13. 20:40 – I’m done with you, you know that?

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Nope. Enough was enough. I AM MY OWN PERSON!

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I made the executive decision all on my own to get a burger from ‘Five Guys’ on the way back to the hotel, as well as to crawl into bed early. It was a golden moment.

Using the magic conch to make ALL of my decisions was fun. It was also wildly exhausting and stressful at times too. This is not a way of life I would recommend, but I found that by being more open to contrary decisions to what I would normally make I had one heck of an experience.

What do you think?

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Written by Sarah Clare

Profile photo of Sarah Clare

Sarah is the Lead Writer and Design Queen here at Maximum Pop! Sarah holds an MA in Professional Writing from Falmouth University, and a BA in Creative Writing with English Literature from Marjon (BIG UP THE MARJON MASSIVE!). Sarah joined MP! after seeing an advertisement for writers on Instagram – because where else would a design master find their dream job?

Sarah is currently working on an expose on Draco Malfoy in her spare time. But not if his father hears about it.