Who would’ve thought that back in 2002, this Geordie lass auditioning for Popstars: The Rivals would go on to be in the greatest girl group ever, and go even further with a solo career spanning four top-ten albums and five number one singles – something no other British female has achieved?
With Only Human hitting the top ten today (checked out our review yet?), we decided to loom at the greatest ever moments of The Artist Known As Cheryl, Formerly Known As Cheryl Cole, Formerly Formerly Known as Cheryl Tweedy But Actually Called Cheryl Fernandez-Versini Nowadays.
Very topical with the S Club reunion. And the swaying, oh my god the swaying. This kind of thing may not get past the audition stage on X Factor now but, in those simpler times, having “beautiful eyes and skin” was enough to get your through.
The early days of Girls Aloud were full of wonderful comedy moments. Cheryl is so pleased with herself for reading out that joke and her suggestion Jesus was a love machine was priceless.
Speaking of Love Machine, that wink Cheryl does on the “gift wrapped kitty cats, we’re only turning into tigers when we gotta fight back” is so damn cute. This is when we started to full in love with the Geordie lass.
Before the evils of media training, Our Cheryl had a sharp tongue she wasn’t afraid to unleash on anyone.
If you look in the dictionary, you will find this video listed under the definitions of “throwing shade” and “irony”. Cheryl’s impression of the PCD’s Melody is amazing, and with the hindsight of Nicole taking Chezza’s X Factor USA this video is even better. Don’t even start us on the bit about bands splitting up and slagging each other off.
This is comedy gold from Sarah and Cheryl from the word go. “IF YA HERE JUST TAP THE FOOKIN’ TABLE!” isn’t something you’d hear from The Saturdays. And on another note, forget all this L’oreal and Vogue; this is the BEST outfit our girl has ever rocked.
What we love about Our Cheryl is that she’s so down to Earth. One of the most beautiful women in the world with millions in the bank and she’s still happy to pick up dog poop. Except she isn’t. And the irony rating is still off the scale.
One of the best songs of the 2000’s in our opinion. And Cheryl gets her lips around a vocoder for the best bit: that haunting intro.
The song that started it all for Solo Cheryl. Everything about this performance is iconic. The outfit, with the ripped T.K. Maxx trousers (as Harry Hill called them), the dancing, the military themed that birthed the whole #CherylSoldiers movement and the way she sings “picnic” that makes it sounds like “pig neck”.
OK, this is no where near one of Cheryl’s ‘best’ moments. But it is one of her funniest, at her expense. Shady? Yes. But we learned from the best.
Now this is the kind of thing Cheryl does best. Leave the standing around singing to everyone else and get on with some fantastic dancing and making Health & Safety s**t themselves with swan dives.
Better out than in we always say. Except when you’re having a massive rose tattooed on your butt.
There’s bitching about Lily Allen and Nicole Scherzinger behind their backs (whilst still being filmed) but ripping into Wagner on Live TV is a different kettle of fish, so we were a bit unsure of whether to include this. But Cheryl’s spirited defence of where she comes from (don’t be fooled by the rocks that she’s got, kids), coupled with the charity work she has done makes us love her even when she’s crying for the millionth time on X Factor and putting through all the rubbish singers.
And finally, a clip from the future:
What’s your favourite Cheryl moment? Tweet us (and the lady herself) your favourites!