It’s a handy little list to have at hand, just in case you’re wondering how to approach the slightly allusive bookworm. Because there are some things that just don’t go down well. Ever.
Compliment our books. Compliment our love of books. Compliment how our love of books has led to more books. Books. Basically. Anything contrary to this? Good luck with that.
1. “Is that another book?”
Well no duh. It IS another book. This is what books, plural, looks like.
2. “I’m not really a Harry Potter fan.”
3. “Waterstones? Again?”
You bet, we’re going again. Deal with it.
4. “The film is better.”
You said that last time. And it’s still annoying.
5. “Have you got to chapter 9 yet? That’s when they die. Lol.”
*throws book at the wall*
6. “Have you done reading yet?”
As if there’s anything better to do?
7. “Wow. That book’s long. Aren’t you bored?”
8. “No, it’s ok. I’ll just look up the plot online.”
9. “Libraries are a bit too quiet though, aren’t they?”
Yeah. Kinda the point.
9. “You’ve packed too many books…”
No, you haven’t packed ENOUGH!
10. “e-books are better though.”
What’s your actual point? *flips page*
11. “Ohh, sorry about the coffee stain.”
Do you want to die?
12. “People only buy e-readers to read erotica on it without others knowing.”
Sure, mate. Sure.
13. “If you were stuck on a desert island with only ONE book…”
I’d kill you with it.
14. “Sure, I’ll give your book back! Once I find it… Oops.”
That’s fine. *silently seethes*
15. “What’s that book about? No, no, don’t show me the blurb. Tell me.”
Please go away.
16. “So… what else do you want for Christmas?”
Uhhh. Nothing? Just books. Books is fine.
17. “Calm down! It’s just a little crease on the cover!”
Do one, dude. Just do one.
18. “Put the book down.”
Put your face down. Yeah. you heard.
19. “Oh, sorry, no. I only come here for the coffee shop.”
*quickly leaves book store. Fuming.”
20. “I haven’t read that book, no. I just use it as a coaster.”
You horrible human being.
21. “YA is just a fad.”
22. “Can you turn that e-reader off now? I can’t sleep with that light.”
It’s dark when you close your eyes. Idiot.
23. “Rainbow shelves? Why?”
BECAUSE IT’S A RAINBOW! THAT’S WHY!
No bookshelf? No problem! –>
24. “Didn’t you already read that book though?”
Yep, at least four times already.
25. cont. “…but that’s weird.”
No. You’re weird.
26. “You can’t have spent the WHOLE day reading?”
Believe it, baby.
27. “Ah. About that. I just keep it with me… to look smart.”
And now you look like a douche.
Can you think of anymore? Which ones have you had said to you? Tell us in the comments below!