Nobody will EVER understand you like Lumpy Space Princess. She is literally you, and you probably didn’t even realise it. With that much sass stored in her lumps, it’s the kind thing to take some so she can make room for more.
1. Something to say both to yourself, and to bae. Because they should know. The need to know. You didn’t get this on fleek for nothing. Own it.
2. Pep talk. Repeat after LSP:
3. Ok, time for first moves. How about sing them a song?
No harm in playing a bit hard to get.
4. And then there’s only one thing for it:
5. Gotta stand by your principles though:
6. Make your aspirations clear.
7. And hold out for that one special bae.
9. And then you finally get that date. Be cool. Keep the conversation light.
10. Be your own best bitch.
11. Don’t freak out if your advances don’t work…
12. Don’t. Freak.
13. It’s ok.
14. They obvs ain’t worth it if they’re resisting your lumpy charms.
15. Just look at the positives from the experience. You were FLAWLESS!
16. And there’s always fanfiction…