10 things you should probably never say to a bisexual

Bisexual people have been around for a long time (yes, they really do exist) and the LGBT community is thriving more than it ever has before. So why is it that so many people are still confused by bisexuality?


We’re sure they mean well, but sometimes it can be real tiring listening to people’s offensive comments and misconceptions over what it means to be attracted to both genders. Not cool, guys.

Here are 10 things you should probably never say to a bisexual:

1) “You’re just scared to come out as gay”

Despite common misconception, bisexuality is not a phase and it’s not a gateway to homosexuality either. Sure, some people might have a fluid and fluctuating sexuality but for most bisexuals, it’s a struggle feeling like you fit in anywhere. You’re seen as too gay for the straight crowd and too straight for the gay community. *Sigh*

2) “Does that mean you have a girlfriend and a boyfriend?”

Er, no. Just because you have the capacity to be attracted to both genders, doesn’t mean you’re any more likely to be non-monogamous than a straight person.

3) “Do you want a threesome?”

Believe it or not, bisexuals do not have the monopoly on threesomes. Some are up for it, some aren’t. Either way, it’s a pretty rude question to just randomly ask someone so it’s probably best to keep your musings to yourself.


4) “You’ll make up your mind when you’re older”

Being young is a great time for exploring and questioning your sexuality, but bisexuals are just as likely to stick with an identity as anybody else. When was the last time you heard someone tell a straight person they’ll change their mind when they’re older?

5) “Do you prefer men or women? Just pick one”

Do you prefer people with blue or brown eyes? Eye colour is probably irrelevant to your attraction to someone and the same goes with gender for bisexuals. Some bisexuals may have a preference, just like most people prefer a certain hair colour, but it still doesn’t have to be a deciding factor.

6) “You’re lucky, you have double the chance of getting with someone”

1) Sexuality isn’t “luck” 2) Not necessarily. Finding a girl or guy who likes you back can be a challenge for anyone, regardless of sexuality, and it can even sometimes be harder for a bisexual to find someone who accepts their identity and is comfortable dating them.

7) “Bisexuals don’t actually exist”

Umm hello, we’re right here


8) “So you play for both teams?”

No, not really. We don’t switch between gay and straight, we play for our own team entirely.

9) “You’re just confused”

Nope, we think you probably are.

10) “I still don’t get it”

Some people don’t, but just because you don’t understand it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t respect it. Most bisexuals are happy to try to explain their sexuality if you’re polite and open to learning.

Do you have any of your own bisexual struggles to add to this list? Share them with us @maximumpop

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Written by Nina John-Clement

Style writer, maths geek and positive viber who's madly in love with words. Also an aspiring member of the Swift squad.

Tweet me @TheNinaJC

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